How your words sabotage your leadership credibility
What happens when you open your mouth to speak?
Do the words flow beautifully and effortlessly or do you sabotage your message with what you say?
Sometimes you’re so used to using minimising language that you don’t even know you’re doing it and it might be having an impact on how you're viewed as a leader.
How often do you say things like:
Sorry but I just want to say….
I don’t know if this is right but…
This might sound rubbish but….
Or as one participant on a group session I was running realised he frequently said:
Shoot me down in flames but I think….
These kind of well-worn phrases float effortlessly out of your mouth and they’re doing more damage to your credibility as a leader than you might imagine. By using such language you’re inviting diminishment in the eyes of your audience. Offer them the opportunity to shoot down in flames what you say and they’ll expect you to say something that warrants criticism.
Meekly asking permission to speak or pre-apologising for your words means that no matter how good the quality of your contribution, you’ve already told everyone to pay it less attention than it deserves.
What if, instead, you could start your sentences more courageously and promote your leadership qualities every time you open your mouth?
In my experience…
I want to add…..what do you think to that?
Something I’ve looked into which is worth considering…
And what if you could be comfortable in staying still and listening more when that’s what’s needed?
The leaders you admire often gain some of that respect and admiration because their language promotes it. It might not even be something you’re consciously aware of. Think about a leader you admire. Do you notice in them that they:
Use silence well.
Don’t apologise for their opinion.
Often speak knowing that less is more.
Back up their statements with reasoned argument.
Ask thought-provoking questions rather than always having the answers.
Learn the language of leadership and watch how people change in their attitude towards you.
Do you want to be seen as encouraging? Use words that encourage others.
Would you like to be seen as bold, courageous? Take the apology out of your words and step into language that shows fearlessness.
Are you keen for your words to leave a stronger impression? Change forgettable (‘that was good’) to memorable (‘I really enjoyed how you….’).
Becoming aware of your language and how well it’s serving you doesn’t just enhance your day to day interactions. When you’re ready for your next role, your interview performance will also be better for it. Choosing to make the changes now and create new habits of language will seriously increase your impact around the leadership table and your chances of progressing your career.
Do you want to try a little experiment with me?
This week, notice where you use language to better convey your leadership qualities and where you might be using minimising language. Are the situations different? What’s happening in each type of scenario?
Where you can, start to try to substitute the language you’d prefer to use and note any changes.
I would love to hear your results. Nothing excites me more (well, almost nothing) than getting emails and feedback from my newsletter readers. I’m a human on the end of the line and really enjoy hearing what works for you (and what could be improved). So don’t be shy, say hello and let me know how you’re getting on out there. Just hit reply to send me a message, any time!